Tuesday, June 14, 2011

6 years ago......

6 years ago... on this evening I sit and reminice about where I was 6 years ago... We were at home. Excited and nervous about the upcoming day of induction and the birth of our first baby. A girl. Her name was going to be Kaytlyn Marie after her grammy (shirley kay) and her gramma (kelli lyn) and her momma (middle name marie). Little did we know how much our lives were about to change. She has taught us so much in this 6 years. The value of a word. The feeling of a broken heart. The feeling of a full of pride heart. We have had MANY MANY proud moments in this short time and more are to come. We have watched you grow from a little 6 lb 13 oz baby girl to a 4ft tall 6 year old. She has shown us that stubborness is freaking hard on the parents. Kaytlyn we will but heads, probably alot more than we mesh. You will give me a run for my money and are definately no match for the stubborness that you inherited from both your parents.. You got it from both sides. LUCKY you! But it is hard work for us lol.... If only I had known from the beginning that you would be a tough child.... if only.... I wasnt prepared for this. You are blossoming into a little girl that has a mind of her own... Lord help us. I love you sooooo much more than you will ever know. Someday you will appreciate the hard work ive put into raising you into a smart, respectful little person. YOu will do big things someday i can see it in your beautiful blue eyes. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAYTLYN! Cant belive your 6.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Dear Shirl

Dearest Shirl,
I havent wrote about you in awhile, but have no fear you are on my mind daily. Some days are harder and more tear filled than others. Some days there are more smiles and warm fuzzy feelings than others. Ive been dreaming of you lately. I looked up what it means and its my minds way of coping with your absense. I assure you, you are far from absent from my mind. I wish I could call and talk to you when the kids are making me crazy. :-) You always understood. Kaytlyn graduated kindergarten 2 weeks ago. But you knew that. Shes growing up so fast. Justine is blossoming into such a sweet little being. She loves to cuddle and loves to follow big sister. Kaytlyn can read and so of course Justine wants to read too. Its awesome to watch them. I wish you could be here. I wish you could hug the girls and give them kisses. They have had a hard 6 months already this year. There birthdays are mere days away and it just doesnt seem possible. 6 and 3... where did the time go. Ill never forget you being there when Kaytlyn was born... Something that will forever stick in my mind. I miss you more than you will ever know. We will be finally hanging up the swings for the girls in your tree next weekend for there birthdays. The birthdays wont be the same without your call... But we will get through it. We are loving our house. I cant even describe the feeling of accomplishmet we feel. Again wish you could be here. This journey we have embarked on with home ownership hasnt been the same as it would have been if we had you to share it with. Im sooooo very glad you got to see it happen tho. I miss you shirl.... SOooooo very much. I still tear up thinking of you. Songs make me think of you and of course cry. Breaks my heart to know ill never again take a picture of you with the girls to share with them when they ask about you... But i do have some to share with them. One thing ill cherish forever. The girls constantly are thinking of you still. Amazing.. Truely amazing. My mom is taking the girls in your place this summer. I know you wanted that but it just didnt. I wish it had. Something that could have never been taken away from them. But they have amazing grandparents they wont fill your place but it will help. Justine is even potty trained. :-) That was an amazing feeling to not have to buy pull ups again. Been about 2 months now. So here we are 3 months later... Still missing you and thinking of you daily. The dreams Ive had went like this.. the first one I had, we were at a wedding, i was a bridesmaid and you didnt recognize Justine and I that caused a huge breakdown for me. I balled. Then woke up... Dont know whos wedding it was, since they never came out... The next one i had was much more peaceful. You and i were at your house going thru some things, found some things u had gottin for the kids and didnt get to send. I started balling and you hugged me sooo hard.. Felt good to feel you around me. Shirl Ill never forget your hugs. And everytime I hug Brad Im hugging you. You taught him how to give great hugs :-). Ill always have a piece of you in my life. But I still miss you. I hope your enjoying yourself with my gramma making tons of quilts. And playing cards. I love you soooooo very much shirl. Always and Forever.