when your closest friends get on your last nerve

What do you do when your closest friends get on your last nerve? Not just once but on a regular basis? Does that mean the friendship is doomed to end eventually? Possibly soon? I have a friend. She is one of my closest "mom" friends. We have girls the close in age and we enjoy the company of eachother.. Or at least I use to. We have been butting heads alot lately and I always feel like what i think doesnt matter. Isnt it suppose to be a 2 way street? Its ok to have differances but at what point do u just stand up and say its not wrong to think diffrantly than you? At what point do you stand up and say your racist comments really offend me? Me being white and her being black she says alot of things like "white people do this or that" not only am i white but her husband is too and her kids are half white! If i said "black people do this or that" id be labeled as racist wouldnt I? At what point is that suppose to be not tolerated? Ive always looked beyond the color of her skin never been bothered by it never refered to her as " a black". shes my friend thats all. I dont care about her skin color and im trying to teach this to my children. But im really offended when she makes comments about things that are totally unfair to me as a white person. Like movies for example. She turns it into a "black and white issue". DRIVES me batty! Anyway we have been just disagreeing alot lately.. Mostly her disagreeing with me for silly things. Then if i disagree then im wrong. Like for example she was telling me today how she is totally gonna take her dog outside in the summer and give it a bath with the hose.. this is not something i agreed with but i didnt tell her she was wrong or get upset. I simply said i wouldnt personally do it and its her dog she could do what she wanted.. that water is freezing! I wouldnt MAKE my dog (if i had one) go outside and hold it under a freezing stream of water! She compared it to kids playing in a kiddie pool or running thru a sprinkler.. totally not the same! Kids in a kiddie pool do it willingly. Kids in a sprinkler do it willingly. And if they dont want to be in it they dont have to be. that dog is being held against its will in the water for a bath.. Just not something I would do. Thats the current disagreement and im suppose to just sit back and let it blow over.. I cant do that anymore! Im just so over it! Issues that deal with the well beings of our familys are very important to us and I always feel like what im doing isnt what she thinks is right. Im gonna end up snapping. Im not sure i can continue the friendship. It use to be fun and we would have meaningful conversation. Now we just debate everything. Im not sure id be out much not having her as a friend.. I feel emotionally drained trying to keep her head up.. wheres my support? She even disagreed with me getting a check up and finding out that I have an underactive thyroid that needs treatment.. didnt agree with the treatment.. Im always listening to her gripe or whine or vent about her "tasks" as a stay at home mom/wife.. ugh.. this is such a vent.. i really needed to vent!